Zdravin smijeh-zdrav kao lijek
Dvadest pitanja američkih odvjetnika na
sudskim raspravama-izvučena iz službenog
glasnika odvjetnika države Massachusetts.
----------------------------------------
- Recite doktore,jel istina da kad čovjek umre u snu,
toga nije svjestan do jutra ?
........................................
-Vaš najmlađi,21 godišnjak,koliko je star ?
Jeste li bili prisutni kada su vas fotografirali?
Jeste li bili sami ili nije bilo nikoga ?
jeste li vi ili vaš brat ubijeni u ratu ?
Jeli vas ubio ? Bili ste tamo dok niste otišli..jel tako ?
.........................................
-Koliko su vozila bila udaljena u trenutku sudara ?
-Koliko ste puta izvršavali samoubojstvo ?
.........................................
-Dakle beba je začeta 8.kolovoza ?
-Da
-Što ste vi radili u tom trenutku ?
.........................................
-Ona ima troje djece zar ne ?
-Da.
-Koliko dječaka ?-Nijednog.
-A djevojčica ?
.........................................
-Kažete da stepenice vode u podrum ?
-Da.
-A može li se njima popeti gore ?
.........................................
-Kako se završio vaš prvi brak ?
-Smrću.
-A čijom ?
.........................................
-Kako bi ste opisali tu osobu ?
-Bila je srednjeg rasta sa velikom bradom.
-Jel to bio muškarac ili žena ?
.........................................
-Doktore koliko ste obdukcija obavili
na mrtvacima ?
-Ja sve obdukcije obavljam na mrtvacima.
.........................................-Sjećate li se koliko je bilo sati,kada ste
pregledali tijelo ?
-Autopsija je počela oko pola devet ujutro.
-A gospodin D.... je u to doba bio mrtav ?
-Ne sjedio je na obdukcijskom stolu i čudio se
zbog čega mu treba obdukcija..
...........................................
-Jeste li kvalificirani da date mokraću na analizu ?
-Jesam,kvalificiran sam od malih nogu.
...........................................
-Doktore,prije nego što ste pristupili autopsiji
jeste li provjerili pula ?
- Ne.
-Jeste li provjerili krvni pritisak ?
- Ne.
-Disanje ?- Ne.
-Dakle, moguće je da je pacijent još bio živ kada ste
počeli autopsiju ?
- Nije moguće !
-Kako možete biti tako sigurni doktore ?
- Zato što je njegov mozak bio u tegli sa formalinom,
pored mene na stolu.
-Ali, zar nije moguće da je pacijent i pored toga bio živ ?
-Moguće je da je živ i da se danas negdje bavi odvjetništvom.
------------------------------------------------------
Vic
Recesija pogodila stanovnike ZOO-vrta u
Zgb-u,nema hrane,nema vode,nema posjetilaca
sa bananama...okupe se životinje i izaberu
predstavničko tijelo za pregovore i nabavku
novca..Slon kao kvantiteta-masa..Lisica
kao mudrost i prepredenost te majmun kao
najbliži srodnik (nekih) !
Sa druge strane stola čekaju ih premijerka,
ministri financija i socijalne skrbi...
Ide prvi slon..ruši sve pred sobom, gazi,urliče
al vraća se bez novca...
Ide lija..zavija,kokodače,pjenu pušta al vraća se
bez ičega....
Ide majmun ..pa ga nema..pa ga nema, pa odjednom
eto ti njega sa kamionom punim love..
- Kako ti je to uspijelo majmune jedan ..upitaše ostali..
- Nemam pojma..samo su na ulazu rekli "OVAJ JE NAŠ"!
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Sve vas voli vaš
bloger Zdrave !
...................................................................................................
objavio/la Unknown | četvrtak, kolovoza 20, 2009
24 komentara:
I ja san jednon davno glumija jameričkeg avokata - pita san: "Kate, kako je ono tebi ime?" Zaozbij! Hahaha!
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